This is a tale of a girl, and perhaps a few others. While I am acquainted with this particular girl, I don't know the others, though it's possible to find more examples based on varied circumstances. It's simply an observation from my generation, and prior to that, how middle-class girls often faced multiple challenges of diverse scales. This narration is one such account, making her story, to me, an outlier.
In her own words:
"I was born and brought up in a very modest, middle-class family, surrounded by strict parents and a similarly conservative society. Almost everyone around us, the neighbors, friends, schoolmates, etc. shared the same level of thinking, earning, and living. Those were the days without AI, tech, or ubiquitous gadgets. We never even had the luxury of a phone box at home. Relatives, friends, and family didn't just casually visit, stay, eat, relax, talk, enjoy, and then leisurely leave.
In all this, when I reached adolescence, I started going to birthday parties, informing my parents and visiting only friends' homes, nowhere else. I'd reach home late, and never once did I think about how my mom must be feeling back home, or how worried my dad must be, not knowing my whereabouts as a growing girl. Today, as I go through the same phase with my college-going daughters, I reflect on that time, but now it's too late. I wouldn't say I misbehaved, but I simply 'went with the flow,' enjoyed parties, and spent very little time with my parents.
After marriage, another phase began with huge, mountainous responsibilities: full-time work, kids, first time and then multiple parenthood experiences, etc. I hardly visited my parents' place, as I wanted to earn money, name, and fame. Or, I must confess, I again never thought much about them. Now, as I foresee my own kids becoming extraordinarily busy with technology and their own lives, jobs, partners, new homes, new cities, I feel the pain, but now it's too late. Due to being a more-than-full-time working mother, I hardly spent time with my kids.
The moral of the story is: I was absent from all three generations, the important parts of my life. I was never truly there for my parents or my kids. In turn, I ran so much that I never even sat with myself. This is not the case with other girls; they balance everything well. I failed, and hence, I call myself an outlier. It's a stage of repayment now; do not expect kids to have time in abundance when I, their mother, want it. Hence, leave the past and enjoy the present, every moment. If not all three, then at least take the best care of yourself, so that your kids will be able to concentrate on their own growth peacefully."
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