I began my professional career at
a very young age. It was my mother's perspective on life; at the time, her core
beliefs were to "learn to survive," "learn to earn," or
"prove that earning is easy." And as a result, I carried on being a
working mother full-time. When I had to leave my most precious children with
someone, I used to cry uncontrollably. However, I overcame myself and
continued, and the guilt began to mount. I still carry a heavy burden of regret
over not staying at home to give my kids my whole attention. For someone like
me who enjoys sleeping peacefully, it is nevertheless so terrible that it has
turned into a nightmare. The guilt started to surface more and I began to
struggle more. Eventually, I felt like I needed professional help because I had
kind of preserved and nurtured that guilt within me.
Around the same time, I came
across a lot of write-ups, articles, videos, podcasts, interviews, etc., in
which there were many examples. For instance, someone said she stayed with her
grandmother consistently from the age of 8 months to 18+. Others portrayed
twins who were divided from birth and were entirely cared for by two
grandparents very happily. In other cases, parents kept their children with
grandparents because of work, further education, economic conditions, and other
reasons they knew.
I was inundated with remarkably similar yet distinct stories within the
same category. As these numerous stories appeared out of nowhere, seemingly
with a purpose, I began to recall a great deal of more stories from earlier
archives. Regardless of their upbringing, all children greatly admire and
respect their parents. And suddenly, it was as though I felt lighter than
feathers, as though my entire load had been lifted, or perhaps more accurately,
had begun to wash off from my shoulders. I am grateful for all the stories and
the channels via which they were shared with me. They have undoubtedly relieved
me of a great deal of baggage.
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